“What we don’t like in other people is often a reflection of what we don’t like about ourselves”
If you find yourself in a situation where you are feeling uncomfortable around someone or a group of people, ask yourself the question ‘What can I do differently right now to change this situation?’ Often we find ourselves blaming other people for our feeling of unhappiness, however how you choose to feel is directly up to you and only you.
The other person can’t change your feelings or make you feel better about yourself as they will act how they want to act regardless. The control and choice is with you. Realise that you are feeling upset because they are noticing something in you that you feel insecure about yourself. Remember that you are a fantastic person and build yourself up internally and you will find that other people will not be able to upset you anymore. Taking control for our own thoughts and feelings is empowering and will lead to happiness.
“What we don’t like in other people is often a reflection of what we don’t like about ourselves” The truth is that other people have found our insecurity, our weakness and that is why we have become upset. Tell yourself that you choose not be affected and start thinking of all the positives about yourself. Close your eyes and think of a time where you felt really happy. Remember that time. See what you saw, hear what you heard and really feel the feelings of being happy. Now open your eyes and hopefully you will begin to feel happier. You will be less affected by the other person/people and you would have chosen to not be affected by their words and actions.
The problem is with them too. People only pick on other people when they feel insecure or threatened themselves. Remember this information, put yourself into their shoes and then start seeing the situation from their eyes and their perspective. Is their job on the line? Could they be jealous of you? Have you upset them in some way?
96% of what we do, think and feel is subconscious and 80% of our communication is non-verbal, so if you don’t like someone, this will come across subconsciously. Our first reaction when we believe someone doesn’t like us is to become defensive, so ask yourself could this be what is happening right now? Is the other person acting defensive because they know you don’t like them? If that is the case, then really try to empathise with their situation and you will show empathy and compassion subconsciously and this will diffuse the negative situation.
For more help and coaching on how to deal with difficult people and situations, contact The Apprentice Project by emailing [email protected].
Written by Emma Vites, Founder, The Apprentice Project
@emmavites @apprenticepro
