Dealing with grievances at work
You’re coming back from work every day upset and angry. If only that person wasn’t in the office then work would be enjoyable! If only they didn’t exist, you could actually enjoy what you are doing! You hate them…..every day you reflect on the conversations you had with them and how much they wound you up!
Look I know you’re going to hate me for this advice but right now by hating this person at work and having these ill feelings, the only one getting hurt is YOU! I know you would rather enjoy the time you have at work and the only problem standing in your way is mis-communication and mis-understanding with the person you hate at work.
The best way to overcome this is for you to put yourself in their shoes. Literally close your eyes for a minute and plant yourself firmly in their brain. Think about where their influences have come from…..where were they brought up? what gender are they? What is their accent like? Do they have children? Mortgage responsibilities? What is their role? What is their previous work history?
Once you understand where they are coming from, then start thinking WHY they may be acting the way they are….Is it stress for losing their job? Are they trying to get promoted? Are they scared that they’re not good and have something to prove?
Also please bear in mind that often when we know people don’t like us…..HOW DO WE ACT? We act defensive don’t we? So right now have you ever thought that by you thinking they are a not nice, they have started to act defensive and EVEN worse towards you!!?(Remember 96% of everything we do is subconscious so this person KNOWS that you don’t like them).
My dad told me something once I have never forgotten…..”Kill them with kindness”. The only way to turn this situation around and start to enjoy work is to begin to empathize and understand and be kind to this person.
You need to begin to see things from their perspective and reassure them that you like and respect them. Their ego has been bruised and you are the victim! You have to remember they are acting this way for a reason and quite often it is to protect their egos as they know you don’t like them.
You and only you is the one with the CHOICE and POWER to change this situation, not the person you dislike. You have the power to see things from their perspective and understand it is THEIR problem and not yours. You should feel sorry for the other person, not let them wind you up.
If you want to improve your situation and like work, then this is the ONLY way!
I know it’s hard…but believe me it’s worth it. Try it today and see how you feel.
Written by Emma Vites, Life Coach and Career Coach and Founder, The Apprentice Project
To book Emma for personal 1-1 Coaching, contact firstname.lastname@example.org